What do we lose?

Hi Everyone,

I've had an ileostomy for 15 years now and a general matter that I've come across is that a lot of Ladies have spoken about losing their Femininity since having to wear a stoma bag. This, of course, is very understandable amongst other insecurities and adaptations that We've all had to face. As far as Men losing any sort of Masculinity, I can, of course, comment that this is also true. I've had numerous rejections from able-bodied Ladies in the past because there are many physical and psychological issues to face. So I would be interested maybe in hearing peoples' opinions about how they feel their dating options now stand. Do you feel more secure and hopeful with dating a fellow ostomate or would you keep your options open to dating from a wider circle?

 auntyk22, Woman 32  Brighton East Sussex

I have to say that I know this feeling all too well, I was talking to my sister and she brought to my attention that although on a day to day basis I am not really afraid to show my Ileostomy when it comes to intimate relations I am terrified of how somebody would react to my body.

 Bturu, Man 40  Apex North Carolina

I think it's all about how educated the person is with this disease. Having an ostomy is life changing and the struggle they go through is also different from person to person. I do not have an ostomy but I would certainly hang out with someone to figure out how it affects both. I have been a Crohn's colitis patient from 13 years and I have such low confidence to be in public many times. Also, remember rejection outright is better than someone giving you false hope by using you for time being.